It’s nights like this I wonder…wonder about the awesomeness of God that he’d bless me so much–wonder about how I could ever find futility in life–wonder about all things good and, well, simply wonder.

After a day full of ginger and sugar cookie making with my next door neighbor, listening to stories and talking, cleaning and decorating, I end up with the most delicious stumbling onto a gold-mine of information. I love the things my mom knows about her parents and grandparents–about their lives and their struggles and their joys–about them.

(haha it’s 10:55 PM and my dad just took his clothes off the line. Mom said she was waiting to see when he was going to get around to it. She asked him to take them down–it has been three days since they were first put up–but he seemingly kept forgetting. Now he got them down. He remembered!)

Back to the memories. We talked for a while until my DG leader called. Her details on our trip to a camp site for a DG retreat on Friday made it sound great. Outdoor activities galore: Paintball (never done it, not sure I’m too inclined to do it now..I’m not most agile dodger in the world), Swiming, canoeing, and go carting!

After all that I spent another half hour talking with Mom. Sometimes it’s so hard to say goodnight and actually leave, because we have such good talks. Every night after saying ‘I love you’ and goodnight my mind goes to a detached memory that has no connection. An old man weeping at his wife’s deathbed saying how much he regretted not telling her he loved her more often. It’s a cumulation of many books and movies of such a scene but the emotion has stuck with me.

I never want to regret taking for granted my mom. I know I’m not perfect and I get upset, I do take her for granted sometimes, I know I’ll miss her. I’m thankful though. I’m so thankful to God for her and I’m trying to be a good daughter. That’s all I can do, I suppose. So I want no regrets.

I hope someday I’ll be able to get stories about my grandparents from my aunts and uncles, before it’s too late. There will come a day when I won’t know anything about them, and I don’t want to be without those memories that will disappear with each relative unless I ask.

On that note, Goodnight. Walk the joys and pains of memory lane and don’t waste time in regret. Do something for those you love around you now. Merry Christmas